About Me

My photo
So here is my new agenda for the time being: Work, Save and Research. That is the plan.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Why is my life at a standstill?

There is so much in my life right now that I feel is at a standstill, and anyone who knows me at all will tell you that I cannot handle stagnation.

I hate that I feel like all of a sudden my life has decided to stop.  When I was in college I was moving toward a higher goal. Toward something that I believed was tangible.  Now even though I have 2 degrees I feel as if I am ignorant of the world around me and feel as if all my years of education and academic achievement have failed me.

It has gotten so bad lately that I am either not eating at all or eating until I explode, which isn't good.  It's depressing to think that the life that you envisioned for yourself, which once was so close, is now out of reach. A career that you love shouldn't just be a dream. 

Now don't get me wrong I love the job I have now. I love my coworkers and my bosses, they are all amazing people.  I love going to work everyday but I have been so used to learning something new in the field of music that I feel like my knowledge is slipping away, never to return and never to be used again.

So, I am thinking about trying something new though. I have been interested, for some time now, in the music of the Jewish community and I've decided that maybe it would be best to follow that path.  So, I have decided that I should try and find a place here in Eugene to take Hebrew lessons. This way maybe I'll be better prepared for a focus in the field of Jewish Music and maybe, just maybe, be able to travel to Israel for field work.

A couple of my closest friends will undoubtedly tell me that this decision is foolish or dangerous or crazy, but do I care? No.  I need to move forward and at the moment that is not happening.

No comments:

Post a Comment