There is so much in my life right now that I feel is at a standstill, and anyone who knows me at all will tell you that I cannot handle stagnation.
I hate that I feel like all of a sudden my life has decided to stop. When I was in college I was moving toward a higher goal. Toward something that I believed was tangible. Now even though I have 2 degrees I feel as if I am ignorant of the world around me and feel as if all my years of education and academic achievement have failed me.
It has gotten so bad lately that I am either not eating at all or eating until I explode, which isn't good. It's depressing to think that the life that you envisioned for yourself, which once was so close, is now out of reach. A career that you love shouldn't just be a dream.
Now don't get me wrong I love the job I have now. I love my coworkers and my bosses, they are all amazing people. I love going to work everyday but I have been so used to learning something new in the field of music that I feel like my knowledge is slipping away, never to return and never to be used again.
So, I am thinking about trying something new though. I have been interested, for some time now, in the music of the Jewish community and I've decided that maybe it would be best to follow that path. So, I have decided that I should try and find a place here in Eugene to take Hebrew lessons. This way maybe I'll be better prepared for a focus in the field of Jewish Music and maybe, just maybe, be able to travel to Israel for field work.